Thoughts on goal-achieving

Motivation as a go-to tool

For most of my working life, motivation was my go-to mechanism for goal-achieving. You aim, plan, and then execute. If you don't feel like doing something, you push yourself. But eventually, I observed that motivation is not feasible for long-term goals.

In the past, I have been motivated to pursue some goals. I will be very motivated and full of energy when I start a project. But once I get over the obsession, I will start to procrastinate. I will try to push myself with some motivational literature—books, blogs, and videos. It will work for a short while. But next time, when procrastination kicks in, I will try to find something else to work on. My brain would come up with endless excuses not to do it. And in the end, I would simply avoid it. I have an endless list of projects I took on to work on—photography skills, exercises, meditation—but left incomplete.

Motivation is bursty. Motivation comes in spikes and goes. Motivation is not sustainable.

Having a system instead of conscious efforts:

Taking from the book thinking fast and slow, we have two patterns in which we behave. One is with conscious efforts, when we can think rationally and are aware of our actions—each action requires effort. The second is autopilot mode, when our subconscious mind takes over and is effortless.

Having positive systems where you take actions without making conscious efforts is an optimal strategy. Advertisers nudge you towards certain purchases. “Opt for marketing” is generally enabled by default on most sign-up pages. Most do not make the effort to consciously uncheck the box or even notice it.

For me, going to the library is one such positive system. Once I go to the library, I usually stay for a productive session and cannot sleep. On the other hand, staying in a hostel room is a full-proof system to fall asleep. Staying in the room leads to sneaking into bed after a while, which then leads to sleeping or, even worse, doomscrolling. Opening Instagram reels or YouTube shorts is one such system that could easily capture someone for hours.

The power of habits and routines

Systems are created with habits. The book “Atomic Habit” is a great read and explains why habits shape most of our lives. Habit creation requires some conscious effort and is slow. It takes some weeks to start a new habit and for it to become a routine. Once a routine is created, an autonomous system is built that can work wonders towards a particular goal.

I used to struggle with starting my day early. I noticed that even if I used to wake up early, I used to sleep again. This cycle would lead me to wake up 4 to 5 hours later than a normal wake-up time. I started with the habit of brushing my teeth immediately after waking up. Once I brush my teeth, it becomes hard to fall asleep easily. This habit nudges me to work on something in the morning and leads to much more productive day.

On a microscale — the role of emotions:

We have rational thinking, which could be overtaken by emotions.

Thinking rationally is hard when emotions are in charge. The brain plays tricks with random bullsh*t logic and tries to convince itself.

Some time back, I started to take cold showers. I read about the benefits, and I was convinced enough that it would help me stay disciplined, have focus for an extended period of time, and improve my metabolism in general. The first few days were great; there was a sense of excitement. However, one day, some thoughts started to pop up. “I could stay focused without the showers, too.” “Why hate me first thing in the morning?” “I slept late at night, so I could skip the day.”

My personal favorite rule to avoid such scenarios is the “5-minute rule.” When you are faced with something unpleasant, you set a goal to work for just 5 minutes. After that, you make a decision if you want to still avoid it. This rule works wonders for me. The initial delta to start something is the hardest part. Once I start to work, the rest is effortless. Our brain associates the initial pain with the entire duration, hence the resistance.

Motivation follows action, not the other way around.

With my limited exposure to religious texts, I find the way religions have survived interesting. I do not agree with some of the values religions advocate, but the way in which religions achieve these values is noteworthy. Religions require you to have faith in their teaching. Do your duties. Do not worry about the outcomes; just do what is required. Trust the process. Have faith.

Once you set the goal, do not question the process on the spur of your emotions. Show faith in the systems you created when you were rational. Take that leap of faith.

Exposure and numbing the emotions:

I found that sometimes fear is one of the emotions that comes with achieving a goal. Fear could appear in the form of procrastination. I used to procrastinate on an aspect of my life. Taking psychotherapy led me to an interesting observation.

We sometimes procrastinate because of some trauma or fear associated with it. It could be due to very small actions, incidents, or behaviors in the past that have stayed inside you for a long time.

One of the ways to tackle fear is through continuous and incremental exposure. Continuous exposure helps to understand and look at fear from a rational perspective. This is the most helpful way I have found to tackle any fear. Nothing else will help more than taking action. Planning to do something is not doing it; thinking about something is not doing it; stressing over it is not doing it; it's the action that does the magic.

PS: I plan to write more.